October Is Domestic Abuse Awareness Month

Posted on 1st October 2026

This blog is all about Domestic Abuse Awareness Month - Everyone Deservices to Feel Safe

You might be getting on with everyday life, going to work, looking after your children and answering “I’m fine” when someone asks how you are.

But behind closed doors, things may feel very different. Perhaps you think carefully before speaking because you are worried about the reaction. Maybe you have stopped seeing certain friends because it is easier than dealing with the questions afterwards. Or you find yourself apologising again, even though you are unsure what you have done wrong.

Domestic abuse can be difficult to put into words, especially when there are no visible injuries.

This October, I want to help bring those quieter experiences into the conversation. October is observed as Domestic Violence Awareness Month in the United States, and some UK organisations also use it to raise awareness. The UK does not have a nationally recognised Domestic Abuse Awareness Month, but the need to recognise abuse and support those affected exists every day.

Abuse Does Not Always Leave A Bruise

Domestic abuse can involve physical violence, but it can also include emotional abuse, sexual abuse, threats, economic abuse and controlling behaviour. Someone may monitor your phone, restrict your access to money or gradually isolate you from people who care about you.

It might sound like:

“You’re too sensitive.”

“Nobody else would put up with you.”

“Why do you need to see them?”

Overtime, you may begin to question your own judgement. You might find yourself trying harder to keep things calm, hoping that choosing the right words or doing everything correctly will prevent another difficult evening.

You deserve to be able to speak, make choices and have relationships with other people without fear.

Domestic Abuse Affects Both Women and Men

Domestic abuse affects both women and men. It can happen to anyone, regardless of their gender, age, sexuality, background or financial circumstances.

Whatever your gender, it can be difficult to tell someone what is happening, particularly if you worry that you won’t be believed or that others will judge you.

Men may also feel pressure to stay silent or “just cope”. They may worry that their experience will be dismissed or that asking for help will make them appear weak.

Everyone deserves to be taken seriously, to feel safe and to receive support. Abuse is never acceptable, and asking for help is a sign of strength.

When Control Becomes Part Of Everyday Life

Coercive control can gradually restrict a person’s freedom and leave them living with fear. It may involve rules, monitoring, humiliation or isolation that make ordinary decisions feel difficult or unsafe.

You may start asking yourself:

“Will they be angry if I go?”

“Should I delete that message?”

“Is it easier if I just agree?”

When so much energy goes into anticipating someone else’s reaction, there may be very little room left to think about what you need.

If this feels familiar, you do not need to find the perfect label before speaking to a specialist support service. You can simply describe what is happening and how it makes you feel.Children should be free to love and spend time with the important people in their lives without feeling that they must take sides.

But after separation, a child can become a way for one parent to keep reaching the other. They may be asked to pass on messages, questioned about what happens in the other home or made to feel guilty for enjoying time with a parent.

This can be confusing and upsetting for a child. They need reassurance that adult problems are not theirs to solve.

If arrangements for children are being used to put pressure on you, you can seek advice from a family solicitor or an appropriate specialist service. You do not have to work it all out through repeated arguments with your former partner.

Money Can Become A Means Of Control

Financial worries are common during separation. However, controlling someone’s access to money, preventing them from working or restricting their financial choices can be part of domestic abuse. For someone experiencing this, even small decisions may feel impossible. Paying for transport, seeking advice or buying something for the children can become another source of anxiety.

You might feel embarrassed that you do not know enough about the household finances. Please try to be gentle with yourself. Being kept out of financial decisions does not mean you are incapable of understanding them. Getting appropriate advice can help you understand your circumstances and explore your options at a pace that considers your safety.

Separation does not always end the abuse

Ending a relationship does not necessarily end controlling behaviour. Abuse can involve former partners, and control may continue after separation.

This may be particularly difficult when practical matters still connect you, such as the family home, finances or arrangements involving children.

You may have hoped that separating would give you space to breathe, only to find yourself feeling anxious whenever your phone lights up.

If contact feels threatening, intrusive or frightening, specialist domestic abuse support can help you consider safety and your next steps. You do not have to manage this alone.

Why “Just Leave” Is Rarely A Helpful Response

From the outside, someone may ask, “Why don’t you leave?”

Inside the situation, there may be fears about money, housing, children, safety or what will happen next. There may also be love, hope and memories of happier times.Leaving can require careful safety planning. Refuge provides specialist support for people considering leaving an abusive relationship.

A more helpful response is:

Thank you for telling me. How can I support you?

Being heard without judgement can make it easier to speak again.

You Can Ask For Help Before You Have Everything Worked Out

You do not need a complete plan before reaching out.

Your first words might be:

“I don’t feel comfortable at home.”

“I’m frightened of their reaction.”

“I’m not sure whether this is abuse, but something feels wrong.”

If you think your phone or online activity may be monitored, seek help using a device the other person cannot access where possible. Specialist technology safety support is available through Refuge. You deserve support even if you are uncertain, still living together or not ready to make a decision about the relationship.

Specialist Help And Support

If you are in immediate danger, call 999.

For women: Refuge’s National Domestic Abuse Helpline offers free, confidential support 24 hours a day on 0808 2000 247. Visit nationaldahelpline.org.uk(https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/).

For men: Men’s Advice Line provides confidential support on 0808 801 0327, Monday to Friday, 10am–5pm. Visit [mensadviceline.org.uk(https://mensadviceline.org.uk/).

Further UK support:

Visit: GOV.UK’s domestic abuse support page, https://www.gov.uk/guidance/domestic-abuse-how-to-get-help for services across the UK.

If you are in immediate danger, call 999.

Help With Preparing for Practical Realities

While coaching doesn’t replace legal advice, it equips you with the mindset and structure to approach mediation, discussions with your ex, and solicitor meetings with clarity and confidence.

Life After Divorce

As you start to feel clearer, coaching helps you build a future that feels right for you. It’s your time to reconnect with who you are and create a life that feels safe, real, and happy.

How Do Sessions Work?

I offer a free 30 minute Discovery Call. Thereafter, your first session would be 90 minutes and gives you immediate relief which is charged at one hour helps to give you: emotional clarity, and practical direction. Sessions after that can be booked individually or as part of a block package, which is more cost-effective.

I can provide full terms and conditions for these arrangements upon request, so you know exactly what to expect.

The first session is designed to help you feel grounded, supported, and clear about your next steps. If you choose to continue with coaching, the guidance and structure from that initial session will seamlessly carry over into your ongoing plan.ext to edit it.

How To Book

If you’re ready to explore how coaching could support you, a free 30-minute discovery call offers the chance to discuss your situation and look at your next steps.

Coaching empowers you to take control of your emotions, decisions, and future—turning a turbulent chapter into an opportunity for growth, clarity, and renewed confidence.

To book your free 30-minute discovery call, click here:

Please note that all sessions are conducted online, allowing you to receive support from the comfort of your own home.

Facing the end of a relationship can feel isolating, but with the right support, it’s possible to approach this transition strategically and move toward a positive resolution.

Schedule your free discovery call today and begin your journey toward stability and confidence.